A Tale of Two Weddings

In the next six months, my son, daughter, and grandson are all getting married. Our family is spread across Ontario and the United States, so I'm thankful to be living in the computer generation. Wedding plans without the advantage of the Internet and email would be a long, difficult process.

To get my point across, let's visit the homes of Miss Modern and Miss Pre-Computer as they prepare for their special days:

Miss Modern has an idea of the venue she would like for her wedding and spends an evening researching on the Internet. She looks at pictures of different halls, along with prices, menus, and features included. After deciding on three possibilities, she emails to ask if they would be available on the wedding date. One hall is booked, so Miss M. and her fiance will go to see both halls and make a final decision. Communication and menu changes are done by email.

Miss M. designs a database for her guest list. Additions and changes are easily made. Invitations are created using special wedding software and elegant wedding invitations. Easy, attractive and inexpensive.

Again using the database and a signature font, Miss M. creates mailing labels (using transparent labels) for 200 people in less than an hour. To create personalized reply cards, she uses mail merge and the computer inserts names on each card.

A relative in another country would like photos of the couple for a special wedding gift. Using a digital camera, the photos are taken and emailed in plenty of time for the gift to be made.

There are constant questions from the guests about accommodation nearby, what is everyone wearing, what do the young couple need? Emails answer many of the questions and guests are given a website for the bridal registry. Items still needed are listed here, can be purchased without leaving home and will be delivered to the reception. This is a big help to people coming from a distance.

Miss Modern relaxes while she and her future husband look at honeymoon spots - on the Internet of course!

Miss Pre- Computer, on the other hand, has had a headache for days. Too many things to do and not enough time. After weekends spent looking at various halls, she and her fiance can't take it any longer and book the next one they visit.

The guest list has been typed out, but some important people were missed and there are duplicates on the list. Miss Pre-C is not a fast typist when she's stressed, so has to re-do the 200 guest list a number of times before it's right.

Her days are constantly interrupted by phone calls from guests with questions about the wedding. The long distance bill is growing every day.

A friend recommends a good printer for invitations, but he is out of town, and another search begins. The wedding invitations are beautiful, so Miss Pre-C begins addressing the 200 envelopes. Never praised for her handwriting, the last of the envelopes is barely readable. She decides to try again tomorrow.

Relatives need pictures of the couple for a special gift. The photos are mailed and after frantic calls to the post office, are finally delivered, too late to use.

More long distance calls so gifts aren't duplicated.

A frantic call from Gramma at the border. Customs officials are questioning her and are taking apart the gifts. Through her tears, Gramma explains that the 50 items had been individually wrapped.

Miss Pre-C takes a deep breath and considers eloping.

P.S. If you still need convincing, my son met his future bride on the Internet!

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7 Stupid Wedding Mistakes Even Smart Couples Make

“What in the world could they have been thinking?”

Definitely words you DON’T want to hear your guests uttering at your wedding. But despite your best intentions, sometimes things slip through the cracks. Sometimes you make a really silly mistake that, if you had just stopped and thought about it for a few minutes, never would have happened.

The problem is that many brides and grooms are so darn busy trying to manage everything else that’s going on – from housing out-of-town guests to dealing with last-minute cancellations or additions to the guest list -- they simply overlook the obvious. That’s when smart people wind up making really stupid mistakes. Here are seven common slip-ups that can ruin an otherwise perfect ceremony.

1. Failing to Thank the Guests

They came to the wedding. They brought gifts. They stopped and congratulated you and took time out of their busy lives to help you celebrate the joining of you and your beloved in a new life together. Don’t leave the reception hall without saying thank you!

2. Speaking While Intoxicated

This one should be a new form of misdemeanor. If your wedding traditions include the bride or groom making a speech to the assembled guests, do it before you enjoy the free bar. You’ll be thankful later when you watch the wedding videos, and you won’t have to apologize to people you don’t remember insulting.

3. Beware the Infamous “Wardrobe Malfunction”

Black underwear, white dress. It was a bad idea in elementary school, and it’s still a bad idea today. Check in a mirror in various lighting situations to make sure that your dress isn’t sheer or invisible in certain conditions prior to the ceremony. If you are renting a tux, check it for rips and make sure you have it fitted before you bring it home. Also, black is the only acceptable color for a tuxedo.

4. Late to the Altar

Not only is this one inconsiderate to the guests and your soon-to-be spouse, but it also wreaks havoc on your vendors. Ice sculptures melt, food gets cold, and photographers lose needed time to pose people and get those still shots for memory albums. The only reason you should ever be late to your own wedding would be something completely beyond your control – like a force of nature.

5. Running out of Food/Drinks

You made the guest list. You know how many people you expect to be there. Running out of food is a good way to make sure your guests feel unappreciated and is inexcusable. This is not the place to save money. Make sure you have enough dinner and drinks for all who are expected to attend; it’s better to throw some away than have hungry guests and nothing to feed them.

6. Know Where the Ring Is Before Walking Down the Aisle

It happens more than you might think. The best man is supposed to be holding the rings, and he leaves them in his other coat. The bride expects them to be brought on a pillow but the ring-bearer is only eight and thought they were golden Barbie doll crowns. Do one more spot check for the rings before you start down the aisle and you won’t have to worry about an awkward moment and a ruined ceremony.

7. Inviting Your “Ex” – Without Telling Anyone

Unless there is an extremely good reason for inviting your ex-boyfriend or ex-wife, don’t do it. It makes everyone uncomfortable. A close corollary to this is not letting members of the wedding party know what your betrothed’s name is (yes, it sounds unbelievable but it DOES happen). If you have not been engaged for a long time, or you recently ended a long-standing relationship prior to your wedding and your wedding party isn’t familiar with your intended, make sure you introduce them. You don’t want to deal with a wedding toast to you and your ex-girlfriend because the best man didn’t know your bride’s name!

Chris Simeral is the creator of The Ultimate Wedding Vow Toolkit, the wedding-coordinator-approved home-study course for couples personalizing or renewing their wedding vows. Couples from all over the United States, Great Britain, Canada and New Zealand have used the kit to create truly memorable and romantic wedding vows. Sign up for the free wedding vow mini-course at http://www.weddingvowtoolkit.com.